Where The Determination Is, The Way Can Be Found

I took the day off and away from trading. I had work come in this afternoon, which made me feel better because I need the income.

I read a little bit out of The Richest Man In Babylon this morning and I've posted an excerpt that really felt good to me when I read it. But it took until this afternoon on my long walk for it to really hit me and for me to realize that I'm not about to give up on my trading (which I considered again for the millionth time).

I've been consistently drawn to it for 15 years or more, and when I think about all the things that I would ever want to be really successful at, trading is it.

I may have to stop actually trading for a while so I can get the rest of my life back in order, but I don't think I'll ever give up.

In fact on my walk I began to ask myself "Have I really done everything I can to become a profitable trader?" I've spent entire weekends testing systems, going over charts, and trying things, but without success. More of that may not be the answer for me, but there are others things I can do, and I'm not going to look back in 20 years and know that I didn't do everything that I could to make it.

Here's the excerpt:

"Could it be that in this peaceful quiet I faced my end? My mind was clearer than it had ever been before. My body now seemed of little importance. My parched and bleeding lips, my dry and swollen tongue, my empty stomach, all had lost their supreme agonies of the day before.

"I looked across into the uninviting distance and once again came to me the question, "Have I the soul of a slave or the soul of a free man?" Then with clearness I realized that if I had the soul of a slave, I should give up, lie down in the desert and die, a fitting end for a runaway slave.

"But if I had the soul of a free man, what then? Surely I would force my way back to Babylon, repay the people who had trusted me, bring happiness to my wife who truly loved me and bring peace and contentment to my parents.

"'Thy debts are thine enemies who have run thee out of Babylon,' Sira had said. Yes it was so. Why had I refused to stand my ground like a man? Why had I permitted my wife to go back to her father?

"Then a strange thing happened. All the world seemed to be of a different color as though I had been looking at it through a colored stone which had suddenly been removed. At last I saw the true values in life.

"Die in the desert! Not I! With a new vision, I saw the things that I must do. First I would go back to Babylon and face every man to whom I owed an unpaid debt. I should tell them that after years of wandering and misfortune, I had come back to pay my debts as fast as the gods would permit. Next I should make a home for my wife and become a citizen of whom my parents should be proud.

"My debts were my enemies, but the men I owed were my friends for they had trusted me and believed in me.

"I staggered weakly to my feet. What mattered hunger? What mattered thirst? They were but incidents on the road to Babylon. Within me surged the soul of a free man going back to conquer his enemies and reward his friends. I thrilled with the great resolve.

"The glazed eyes of my camels brightened at the new note in my husky voice. With great effort, after many attempts, they gained their feet. With pitiful perseverance, they pushed on toward the north where something within me said we would find Babylon.

"We found water. We passed into a more fertile country where were grass and fruit. We found the trail to Babylon because the soul of a free man looks at life as a series of problems to be solved and solves them, while the soul of a slave whines, 'What can I do who am but a slave?'"

Attitude is everything. The confidence in one's ability to achieve what one desires is merely a matter of changing one's perspective and as a result, one's attitude. Easier said than done however.

My attitude improved during the day today, but I still get a 0 for my Attitude Index.